Sinking

I sink
Into patterns,
A slow agony of todos and expectations,
Demanding of me, wanting from me,
What I do not seem to have,
but questions of:
What not to do, what to prioritize,
When to sleep? What to want? What is necessary?
Seem to blur into each other.
How can I answer all these and take care of my mind, remember to eat, run, laugh and pray?
But isn't this struggle the whole point of life - friend remarks.
And so I dive, into the depths, finding myself often in places my senses are muted. Do I have the courage to fall is the all important question.